You Know You Love Sydney Too Much When...
(by Sabrina, which she dubs "my own sickness....")


1. You fill up an entire memory card with saves that are just before his cut-scenes...

2. You have 2 saves before the Snowfly forest battle...

3. During the Sydney Olympics, you discovered the Bell Telephone Company's new, Olympic ad blitz- website: www.hellosydney.ca. It has a blue background with the line: "I want to be... in Sydney" in white.

You collect everything you can with this line on it, and go postal when your newspaper comes affixed with a "Sydney" Post-It note.

4. You promptly whip out a white gel pen and change the 'i' in 'in' to an 'o'.

5. You realise you were rash, wipe out the change and write this addendum: " 's pants."

6. You can't decide one way or the other, so you scan the bloody thing in and make several dozen printouts of each saying.

7. (Still during the Olympics) You start stealing advertisements for the Sydney Olympics that could be interpreted sexually: -on a newspaper box-: "eight pages of full Sydney coverage"

8. Your friends are so awed by your obsession that THEY start stealing ads for you.

9. You break down and cry whenever you hear Sarah McLaughlan's Building a Mystery. You are conviced that it is about Sydney. "True, so *sob* true" you flub as it plays.

10. When sketching out some fanart, you needlessly and compulsively press too hard on the paper to outline Sydney's crotch.

11. While travelling, you evaluate the cosplay prospects of every young white male you see. "Nah, too lank... not lank enough... weak nose... arms aren't long enough..."

12. You hem, haw, and ponder deeply the orientation of Sydney's sexuality.

"Well, he was alone with Ashley that WHOLE WEEK..."

"What about Hardin... they seemed more like a dysfunctional couple than anything else."

13. Despite the disrespect to FFT, you deeply and truly believe that Akihiko Yoshida's single greatest work was the creation of Sydney. You feel that this elevates Yoshida to the status of some ancient and venerable Greek God.

14. During the Dark Crusader/Grissom battle in the Snowfly Forest you put Ashley's 'fruity jump' to good use.

(Ya know, when you make Ashley jump on the spot, the way his hips move? The way he seems to try to climb something with his legs? (guess where this is going...))

After the cut scene, when you get control back, you run right up to the Yummy-Goodness and make with the 'square' button.

15. Then, when Sydney casts "Prostasia" on Ashley, his *equipment* really feels the effect. Same deal when casts "Herakles"- "Oh, Sydney my strength! Let me aid you too!".

Of course, your beau has too much stamina to require a 'booster-spell' from you- you do it mostly for show.

16. You go into 1st person pause mode and spend copious amounts of time fiddling with your analog stick. "Upppp... and pause... and uppp... and down... and uppp..." Then, and only then, will you part yourself from Sydney to slay your foes.

17. You play Vagrant repeatedly to build your defense stats with the purpose of replaying the Snowfly forest battle. This way you can spend progressively longer amounts of time ignoring the attacking Dark Crusader, and paying attenion to Sydney.

18. In the winter you catch snowflakes on your tongue and savour the taste of 'sweet sweet Sydney'. To you, they are his ashes.

19. You lick your lips and willfully misconstrue all of Sydney's words to Ashley as being laced with innuendo.

20. Sydney's line: "Show me your... soul" makes you tingle and giggle with delight. You just *know* he's leading you on, hell, that pause!

21. The fact that he plays 'hard-to-get' fills you with untamed delight.

22. You draw much Sydney...

23. You talk about Sydney so much that your friends (the ones that think that the PSX is a 'pee-sucker'- that is if they haven't left you yet) begin to wonder just what kind of 3-D animation could have your head in a spin so.

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